Alien Rollercoaster Ride
by Zangoose Ninja
Summary: You decide to pay Zim a visit, only to discover some interesting biological facts about the Irken race.
1. First Contact

Full disclaimer, reader is 18 years old. Author's note at the bottom, please read!

"Zim, what are you doing?"

You had walked into Zim's lab to see him hunched over, breathing heavily. Judging from the lack of his wig he didn't have his disguise on.

"E-Earth worm! I wasn't- _hah_ \- expecting you to be- _nnng!"_

That last noise sent you on edge. While Zim was no longer trying to conquer the world (well, officially that is - he still tries but mostly to annoy Dib and so that the "great Zim" feels challenged). Ever since The Tallest told him the truth of his "mission"- or rather, the lack of one - he was sent into to space to get rid of him, It was just a coincidence that he found your planet - Planet Earth.

Even though you were now technically friends, or something close to that, that didn't mean he wasn't _dangerous_. He still did his experiments regardless of how bat shit insane and dangerous they were, so about once a month you, Dib, Zim, Gir and occasionally Gaz were put in a seriously dangerous predicament that could have been avoided if Zim had only used common sense.

"Zim! Are you ok? Did one of your experiments go wrong?!"

You rushed to his side, but he quickly turned to the left, facing away from you. You screwed up your face in confusion.

"I-I'm fine you filthy Earth worm! The Mighty Zim would never mess up an- _ngah!_ "

He gasped some more, shuddering. Now that you thought about it, the sounds he was making sounded a lot like-

 _Oh. Oh wow. Oh my god._

You peered a little more, and you saw Zim's penis. At least, you're sure it is because- _oh my gosh it's moving?!_ \- because it looked like a tentacle. And it moved like one too. Wait, that means- haha oh wow.

"So, you're jerkin' the gherkin. Choking the chicken. Basting the ham. _Adjusting the antenna_."

You said this with a wiggle to both your eyebrows and your hips, a lecherous smile on your face. Zim just growled.

"You're more annoying than usual you filthy hyoo-man! And besides, I told you to leave!"

You paid no attention to his demand and instead grabbed the edge of his chair and turned it around to face you. Zim screeched and roughly grabbed his shirt, covering his bare thighs. You grinned even more.

"Hah! I knew it! Hey hey, don't hide it! I wanna see!"

Truth be told, you've always been interested in seeing Zim's parts since you turned 16 years old and became "friends" with Zim. Aliens and their genitals have always fascinated you: after all, humans are kind of bland. Aliens are exotic, and Zim being an Irken- plus, your huge crush on him played a big part on it. Not that he will ever know, the little sociopath.

"Get you fffffffillthy earth hands away from the Great Zim! I command it! You're not worthy of seeing me in this putrid state!"

You immediately withdraw your prying hands and instead gave him a confused look.

"Putrid state? Zim, this is a natural thing that people go through, it's called _arousal_."

"Ergh! You don't understand! For us superior Irkens, this… thing has no real purpose, we don't breed like you humans anymore. We have evolved technologically enough that we can merely extract the DNA and eggs from a male and female irken and breed our smeets via breeding pods."

He gestured to his nether regions as he finished talking, a snarl repeating through his throat. You leaned down a little to be at his eye level.

"Zim, you do know sex can be more than just for procreation, right? It's a way to connect with someone on a more deep, physical way. Also, it's a fun way to spend your night."

You sank down next to him, sitting on the floor.

"So Zim, tell me something, ever had sex before?"

You heard Zim choke on air, before laughing in a haughty way, trying to save face.

"Of course not! Zim is above such useless things! It would only distract me from my mission. And from what I have heard, it's a messy process. I would rather not dirty myself by partaking in such… disgusting activities."

He shuddered in disgust, raising his hands off to cover his mouth, gagging slightly. With his hands, something else had also raised up.

"Woooooah. It's the same colour as your tongue- no, it's slightly darker! Wait. Wait wait wait. It's like a tentacle!"

You inched closer to his crotch, much to Zim's displeasure and discomfort. He squirmed against the chair, causing it to fall back. It toppled to the ground, taking a screeching Zim with it.. You merely leaned back a little to avoid being hit. You crawled around and leaned over Zim by the side.

"Zim? You alive?"

He groaned in response, giving a half-hearted wave with his three-clawed hand. You grabbed it and helped pull him up.

"…Thank you, (Y/N)-human."

"So, lay it on me- what's with the boner?"

He sighed irritably, avoiding your gaze. If you looked closely you could see a slight dark green shade tinting on his cheeks.

"Hormones. Usually, we Irken can control our urges. But sometimes the 'urges' are to strong to ignore, thus we males end up with-"

He looked down with a glare, my eyes following his to look at his problem.

"So, you've never had sex? How old are you?"

"Far older than you, human."

"Give me a year."

"Over one hundred and fifty."

"You are _old_. Also, you've hit grand wizard status, congrats."

Zim scrunched his face in confusion.

"Zim is a what?"

"Never mind."

You sighed, sitting cross-legged and leaned somewhat, your head in your left hand.

"Where's GIR?"

Zim scrunched up his face.

"Out at a club, he screamed something about dancing monkeys and bubble-gum."

You laughed, shaking your head. It made sense, GIR had never been… normal, and unlike his master, had no qualms about partying it up with humans, and spent a vast majority of his time doing so. You looked back at Zim.

"How long has he been out for?"

"He left 30 minutes ago."  
"Which means that he's gone for 5 hours minimum."

You looked at Zim, who had relaxed somewhat but was still trying to hide his cock from you, which was understandable. He was sitting not far from you, pulling his shirt down. He wouldn't meet your unending gaze.

You leaned back against the… computer? You weren't entirely sure, but you leaned back against it, weighing your options. Zim and subtlety didn't mesh very well, but if you came on too strong you could scare him off.

"You've got that look (Y/N)-human, that look that says you're plotting something."  
Zim side-eyed you, suspicious of what was going through your mind. You smiled at him, moving your hair away from your face.

"Well, when have I ever done something wrong?"

"You nearly killed that Torque human."

You rolled your eyes, a frown stretching onto your face. Torque was an ex-boyfriend, who dumped you after prom. It went a lot deeper than that, but it was old news, since it happened a year ago.

"Yeah well, he deserved it. Anyways."

You turned to face him fully, sitting criss cross applesauce as you smiled at him. Zim only quirked his hairless brow at you, curious of what you were going to say but hesitant.

"Well, you're horny and I'm here."

You shrugged nonchalantly with a lazy smile, looking away from Zim to stare at the lines of the metal panels. Zim for a moment didn't quite catch onto what you meant until the silence was broken by a loud guffaw.

" _Haaahahaha!_ Do you think that I, the utmost _amazing_ Zim would stoop so low as to, as to _fornicate_ with a _dissssgusting_ human?!"

He looked at you, wiping away tears but you could tell by the his eyes seemed a little too wide, by the waver of his voice that he wasn't finding the situation _that_ funny. You only shrugged again, turning your head to look at Zim with genuine eyes.

"I mean, sex is pretty common around our… well, my age and your disguise is… a human at my age, so to blend in better…"  
You trailed off, your mouth cocked in a quizzical grin. Zim caught on to your meaning and his smile dropped to a small 'o' shape, what you said sinking in. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came - he just hummed a tune as he thought about what you said.

"Annnd… I have it on good authority that Dib is still a virgin, meaning you can one-up him."

Zim's eyes snapped back to you, giving you a questioning stare. One way of getting Zim to agree to something was to bring up his rivalry with Dib. Sure, Dib might not be trying to get Zim dissected as often as he used to be, but they weren't exactly… typical best friends (if you could even call them that.)

"How on _Irk_ do you know that?"

"Remember Jessica's party last week? The one you didn't go to? Me and Dib got chosen for 7 Minutes in Heaven, except he was so fucking drunk that he couldn't walk straight.. We went into the closet and just chilled, chatted for the whole round. He confessed to me that he was a virgin and was scared he'd turn out like an incel. He was legit worried that he, of all people, would become a fucking _incel_."

Zim only quirked an eyebrow, confusion on his face. You sighed and rolled your eyes.

"Don't worry about the incel part, but Dib being a virgin gives you a lead against him, what with your… rivalry."

You shrugged again.

"I mean, if you wanted to, that is. Sex needs consent from all parties, you know."

Zim mulled over your words, a frown on his face as his eyes narrowed in concentration. For a moment, you both sat there in comfortable silence, only the hum of his various machines filling the void.

"All right, human."

Zim's answer surprised you. You weren't expecting a 'yes' this quickly, or rather, at all. Your eyes snapped toward Zim, your eyes had widened in surprise. You didn't speak at first, thinking you had misheard yourself. Zim got impatient with your lack of reply and spoke again.

"What, did you not _hear_ (Y/N)-worm? Gah, typical of your species! I said, 'All right'! I will partake in this, carnal activity and you will be _blessed_! Not just anyone can take part in an activity this… _depraved_ with the almighty Zim!"

Zim beamed with a smug smile, clearly proud of himself. You chuckled as you stood up from the ground. The way he said yes didn't bother you; it was a hell of a lot less smug than you were expecting, to be perfectly honest. You offered a hand to him to help him up.

"Alright Zim, I hear you loud and clear. So, where's the nearest bedroom?

Sex time

Zim, for all his boisterous and confident bravado, had no idea what to do. Here you were, naked and waiting for his attention, and he was just looking at you like a lost dog looking for its bone. He looked from your core to your face, completely unsure what to do. You honestly felt sorry for him as you sighed.

"Hey, are you sure you're up for this? We can stop if you'd like, maybe I can share some, uh, educational videos to-"

"No! Zim knows what he is doing!"  
Zim snapped back, his eyes darting up to meet yours. You smiled, shrugging.

"All right, take your time. No rush."

Zim made a noise and his eyes lowered to your neck. His right hand came up, tracing your cheek down your neck, his claws leaving a tingling sensation as they trailed down. His eyes narrowed in concentration as he traced his "pointer" claw downwards to your breasts.

"These… Irken women do not have these, these-"

"Breasts."

"Ah, yes. Breasts…"

Zim lazily traced the underside of your right breast, his brow rising slightly as he watched goosebumps appear on your skin, continuing to move upwards. Cupping your small mound, his "thumb" ghosting your nipple, his eyes narrowed as your nipples puckered at both the touch and slight chill in the room, he looked back your face.

You nodded slightly, smiling and biting your lip. He furrowed his eyes and began to experiment gently, kneading, his claws digging in slightly as he played with them. You shuddered at the friction of his palm against your nipple, his eyes never leaving your breast.

"These feel so… Strange. Sort of like a tough pudding."

You couldn't help but chuckle, Zim really had no idea. He made a whiny growl, gripping your breast harder, causing you gasp sharply. He grinned.

"Zim, you are fucking _lucky_ that what you just did made me wetter than a bitch in heat and tingle like a girl on prom night because god _damn_ did it hurt. Holy shit, Zim."

Zim chuckled darkly, his grip loosening. You crossed your arms under your chest, glaring.

"You're a real sado-masochist aren't ya?"

"Zim has no idea what you're talking about, (Y/N)-worm."

He said this in his false innocent voice that he had mastered over the years. You could only roll your eyes at him and his smirk. His antennae caught your attention, your lips falling into an "o" shape before smiling. You looked into his eyes.

"Can I touch you?"

His smirk fell as his eyes widened, no emotion on his face whatsoever. You hurriedly began to speak.

"I'll be gentle, _much_ gentler than you, I promise."

Zim didn't say anything for a minute before looking away, scowling.

"Fine! Savour this moment (Y/N)worm, you won't get another chance!"

He scowled at your smile as you slowly sat up, resting against the headboard. Zim followed, kneeling in front of you. You looked down to his sides where his hands were and slowly reached for them. He tensed as you lightly grazed his fingertips - dulled claws from generations past, evolution clearly having taken effect. You looked back up to his eyes, they were focusing on you hands as they slowly began to lightly hold his and turned them other, exposing the palm. You lightly traced his palm, his hand twitching slightly as they followed the lines.

"This feels… ticklish, (Y/N)-worm."

Zim had murmured, his eyes following your hands every move, his eyes furrowed. You smiled as you started to slowly enclose your hands over his, rubbing your thumb against his knuckles. His hands were the same colour as the rest of his body, a light green. Aside from his cloaca-tentacle-penis _god what a word salad_ , his body was the same shade of green. Holding his hands in your own, you rubbed them softly. You looked back up to his face through your eyelashes. He didn't look uncomfortable, more confused by what you were doing.

"Hey, I'm gonna bring your hands up to my mouth and kiss 'em, ok?"

Zim's whole body stiffened as he looked down at you. The height difference between you wasn't insane- Zim was two, maybe three inches taller than you, but you were slightly hunched over, and he was sitting up straight, making the difference seem bigger than it actually was.

"… Kiss?"

You rolled your eyes; did he really not know what a kiss was? He's been here for what, six, seven years and is in high school?

"You seriously don't know?"

Zim huffed in indignation. Questioning or doubting Zim's intelligence always made him angry, or at least less co-operative.

"I know what kissing is, (Y/N)-human! But… It looks so disgusting, have you not _seen_ what goes on at Hi Skool?"

Zim shuddered, and you couldn't help but shudder too. It wasn't like you were against PDA, but some people really need to learn that the privacy of their bedroom, the bathrooms or even the janitor's closet is better than the public eye.

"I'm not gonna do that, nothing like that. Just a light peck, ok?"

Zm didn't look too keen on the idea until he sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Fine."

Zim relented, his fist relaxing. You smiled as you shuffled a little, easing the ache from kneeling so long. You straightened your back and slowly brought Zim's hands up to your lips, lightly pecking them.

It was a short-lived kiss, barely a couple of seconds, but Zim reacted as if it was a lot longer. You could hear his gasp and his whole body flinch before completely stilled, his breathing also stilling.

"Uh, Zim? You ok there?"  
You ask, uncertain, worried that you might have just caused a heart attack before he breathed out.

"Y-you may continue, human."

Zim stuttered a little bit. You looked up and met his gaze, his eyes looking at his hand with a smoldering stare. You took a sharp intake of air when you looked into his eyes; they were so damn intense, the red-pink colour taking a slightly darker tone.

"Tell me when to stop, i-if you want."

You never stuttered, you were always confident, or at least, you faked it till you made it. This, this was a whole new ground for you though. Not the sex part, no, you had had sex before, but this kind of foreplay, this exploration, it wasn't what you were used to, it was strange. Very soft, slow.

You liked it. It wasn't bad, just new.

Zim nodded, acknowledging what you said. You took a deep breath before you leaned in again for another kiss, this time lingering for a few seconds longer. You wanted to savour this moment, but you also didn't want to scare him away; after all, Zim's trust wasn't easily given, but it most certainly was easy to destroy.

"Zim, I'm gonna travel up your arm, ok? Just shake me off if I go too far."

Zim grunted, never taking his eyes off of you. You slowly traveled up his forearm, taking your time and exploring his flesh with your lips, trailing soft kisses up his bicep. Zim calmed his breathing, but he continued watching your every move. You softly and slowly kissed his shoulder, looking up to see him stare at you with parted lips, his zipper teeth peeking from them.

"E-Earth worm, why have you stopped?"

You pulled away from Zim's shoulder, smiling at him again. You rubbed his shoulder reassuringly.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're gorgeous, Zim?"

Zim looked taken aback, a small "huh?" escaping from his mouth and his antennae catching your eye again as they perked up. You bit your lip as you thought about what you might be doing with them soon.

"Not by any of YOUR race, no. Neither by any of my race."

Zim said this with an air of arrogance and slight annoyance, however you can't help but notice the slight narrowing and darkening of his eyes indicating a deeper meaning to the phrase.

"You're gorgeous."

You said this sincerely, looking into his eyes. He looked surprised, this time a small "eh?" coming from him. You leaned in again, kissing his clavicle softly and continuing your journey.

You kissed his neck tenderly, staying still as Zim once again stiffened, you could feel his heartbeat - or rather his _squeedily spooch_. His neck felt smooth, no mark or scar or _any kind of imperfection_ despite the multitude of explosions that he had caused and somehow survived.

You left his neck and looked back up again. Zim looked like a deer caught in headlights, a bead of sweat slowly dripping down his temple and off his chin. You frowned, concerned.

"Did I go too far, Zim?"

You sat up and met his eyes. He finally registered what you had said and coughed, looking away.

"N-no, Zim is just… surprised."

You smirked, licking your lips slightly and taking a deep breath.

"How you holding up, Zim?"

You asked as you straightened yourself, stretching. Zim looked away, his face level with your chest. In fact, he was close enough that you could feel his warm breath against your breasts, causing a warmth in your stomach to burn hotter, the throbbing in your pussy growing stronger. You bit your lip, suppressing a moan.

 _No, treat Zim first, then look after yourself._

"I'm doing fine, Earthworm. I am… enjoying your actions."

As he spoke, his eyes looked to your breasts for a split second before looking away again. You leaned in again, resuming your kisses on his neck, this time even softer and slower than before. Zim took a deep breath as you travelled up to his chin.

 _Now or never._

You kissed upwards to the corner of his mouth, pausing. You waited with bated breath, the only sounds you could hear being your breathing and heartbeat. Then, Zim finally spoke.

"What is the matter, Earthworm? Has the cat caught your tongue?"

Zim said this with mirth and cheekiness heavy in his voice. You smirked as you moved away from Zim, who was now glaring at you.

"Trust me, no cat has ever caught my tongue. I was just worried you weren't up for the task, Zimmy."

You were baiting him, and judging by his eyes narrowing with his trademark "We'll see about that" grin, he took it hook, line and sinker. His hands grabbed your hips, gripping them tightly. You gave him a coy smile, as he continued to grin in response.

"Well, I didn't know if you were prepared for what I was about to do. You might be the great Zim, but I wonder if you're truly prepared for this."

You smiled wider when Zim's eyes widened before narrowing again. One way to get Zim to do things is to question whether he can do it or not. Zim is a prideful, prideful man.

"The great Zim is ready for anything, I assure you."

You sat up and shuffled back a bit, gesturing for Zim to follow, and surprisingly, he did, if not a bit wary of what you were about to do. You wrapped your arms around Zim, in a slightly awkward form of a hug.

"Zim, lean back and lie down on the bed."

As you said this, you leaned forward a bit. Zim, again surprisingly, grunted slightly and actually did lie down.

"This better not be a trick, human."

You laid down next to Zim, you raised your hand and began to gently caress his face, your touch light as a feather. Zim didn't pull away or stiffen, but he did watch you intently.

You moved yourself so that you were on top of him, your groin hovering over his; A drop of your juice dripped onto his cock, causing Zim to hiss. You gently cupped his cheek, causing him to look at you.

"Zim?"  
"Yes, earthworm?"

You leaned in, close enough to feel his breath against your own. You lowered your eyes slowly as you leaned closer and closer.

"Zim…"

You closed the gap between the two of you, and for a second you stopped breathing. Neither of you moved for what seemed like hours, but it was merely a few seconds.

You could feel your chest and stomach burst with warmth, your heart beating heavily. You knew what the warmth in your chest meant, and you weren't ready to experience it, not during this. Not yet.

You pulled away, opening your eyes to see Zim's eyes wide as dinner plates. He didn't move or say anything, he just stared straight at you with unblinking eyes. You licked your lips, suddenly self-conscious.

 _Did Zim hate it? Wait, has my kissing gone to shit?_

"Zim? You ok?"

For an agonizing minute, Zim didn't speak, his gaze unrelenting. After not blinking at all for another minute, Zim slowly did so.

"Huh. That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

Zim's words surprised you.

"You doubted me? Ouch."

You couldn't help but laugh, much to Zim's apparent confusion. Caressing his face, you leaned in.

"Wanna go again?"

Zim grunted but nodded, gazing at your lips. You cupped his cheek and pulled him in for another kiss.

This time, you moved your lips against his; Zim following along tentatively, while yours moved with deliberation and clear purpose. Zim's were slow and unsure; a stark difference to your own. Your stomach felt like it was throwing itself around, your heart was going crazy and you began to worry that you were about to have a heart attack.

Soon enough, or rather too soon, your lungs were burning, begging for air. You both pulled away; you breathing slightly hard while Zim was breathing normally. Damn alien biology.

"This is far more different from what I've seen the other humans do at Hi-Skool."

You chuckled. "Well, glad to know that my kisses are Zim approved."

Zim smirked at your words, his antennae perking up. You licked your lips as you stared at them.

"Hey Zim, what are your antennae for?"

Your question threw him off guard, a confused sound escaping from him. It took a moment before he finally answered your admittedly oddball question.

"They're the human equivalent to ears, we Irken use them for short range sensing as well, such as vibrations in the air. Why do you ask such a question, human?"

"Are they sensitive to direct touch?"

It took a minute for the question to sink in and the implication of such a question being asked in this situation. A large dark green blush tinted his face, his eyes widened and his antennae perked up and stiffened.

"What- I- human, are you suggesting that- that-"

Zim sputtered and stuttered his response, but he didn't seem to be disgusted- rather, he seemed to be insanely embarrassed by the mere thought of his antennae being the center of any sort of lewd action.

"I, I mean-"

You began to stutter as well, biting your lower lip and forcing the butterflies in your stomach to please, stop moving around so much oh God-

"I-If you're cool with it, I mean, I dunno. I just figured that, that if they were sensitive to touch, that…"

You sighed.

"If you're not comfortable about it, that's fine. If you do want to go with it, then it'll be on your terms, I'll stop if you say to and if there's anything you're uncomfortable with or not one hundred percent about, then I won't do it."

Zim furrowed his brow, deep in thought for a long moment before finally answering.

"Are you sure you'll be able to stop? Afterall, the amazing Zim is very irresistible."

Zim smirked, but you could tell from the slight waver in his voice that he wasn't completely confident in his answer. You sat up a bit and stared into Zim's eyes.

"Zim, I'm being serious. I'll only start if you want me to and I'll stop immediately if you say so."

Zim stared back, mulling over your words before giving you his answer.

"As long as you're being careful, human."

You smiled and nodded.

"I'll be gentle with you, I promise. The safe word is "stop", ok? When you say "stop", I'll stop everything immediately."

Zim nodded and you sat up, kneeling and offering a hand to him, helping him up when he accepted, he moved back and leaned against the bed board while you crawled over, straddling him, your pussy a bit further up above Zim's own groin. Zim hissed at the wet friction, clenching his hands. You smirked.

You cupped Zim's face with both of your hands and leaned down, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. You both moved against one another, your hands moving from Zim's face to behind him, bringing him closer with a hug. His chest flushed against your breasts, sending a jolt down your spine when his oddly cool, smooth skin met your own.

Zim's inexperienced rhythm was steadily getting better, and you yelped in surprise when you felt Zim's claws dig into you when they grabbed your butt, Zim grinned, displaying his delight in the response he elicited from you.

"G-go on, keep going- you can touch me anywhere."

Zim squeezed your cheeks, a low moan coming from you as another delicious jolt ran down your spine straight to your core.

"Mmm… Zim…"

You moaned out, kissing Zim again, this time nibbling on his lower lip, eliciting a groan from him.

You slowly moved your hands from the nape of his neck, tracing your fingertips upwards towards the top of his head where your goal was.

Your fingers bumped the base of the antennae, twitching in response to your touch. You stopped kissing him and sat up, your breasts now in his face while his antennae was in yours. You bit your bottom lip, a grin on your face as you gently swayed your chest side to side, your nipples rubbing against Zim's face.

"Zim, you can- you can ah, t-touch them, please?"

You arched your back, your breasts now fully against his face. He grunted in response, his hands leaving your butt to travel upwards, grabbing your mounds and squeezing them lightly. His claws dug into the soft flesh, a moan squeezing out of your lips. You heard a satisfied "heh" from Zim.

 _Glad to hear him enjoying himself_ , you thought to yourself. You gently took both antennae between your thumbs and forefingers and gently rubbed the base, causing Zim to shudder, a loud swallowing noise emitting from him.

"Zim, remember the safe word?"

"It's "stop"."

"Alright, good good."

You turned your attention back to his antennae. Rubbing softly, you moved your finger up and down the appendage. It felt strange - firm to the touch, however you had no doubt that the firmness was possibly a form of exoskeleton as a flimsy way to protect the weak appendage.

There was no hair, only smoothness that was separated with small ridges, growing smaller the further they traveled upwards until it tapered off into a sharp tip.

Zim had tried to suppress his shudders, to no avail. You looked behind yourself and saw Zim's erect penis, swaying slightly with a bead of precum forming on the tip.

You turned back to face the antennae and continued to rub them, travelling upwards while Zim struggled to keep himself composed. He fidgeted and whined beneath you, his hands fumbling with your breasts as you bit your lower lip to keep the low moans from spilling out from your mouth.

"Z-Zim, your- _hah_ \- your mouth…"

You pushed your breasts onto his lips, the right nipple catching onto his lip. He… didn't get the hint. He mumbled against your chest.

"What about my mouth?"

"... Oh right, virgin."

You said this out loud, rolling your eyes as you moved back a bit. You cupped the underside of your breasts and lifted them up, lightly pressing them against Zim's face.

"See the nipples? You can lick, suck and bite 'em. You can try it, if you like."

Zim nodded and brought his hands up again, grabbing your breasts, rubbing both your nipples with both of his "thumbs". He leaned in close to the right one and flicked his tongue out. Despite it only just brushing against you, you shivered at the feel of his tongue darting against the sensitive flesh. You took in a sharp intake of breath.

"Don't bite too hard, it'll hurt too much," You warned him, thinking about his zipper teeth, and what shape of hickey they would leave.

Zim tentatively darted his tongue out again but this time swirled around the areola, making your nipple harden and pucker at the attention. Your breath hitched at the feel of his tongue; smooth with slight ridges.

His tongue continued their ministrations, lapping at the nipple as his claw fondled the other breast. He drew the nipple into his mouth, sucking on it surprisingly gently, drawing out a long, loud mewl from you.

You returned your attention to his antennae and you began to slowly and gently rub them, moving upwards until you hit the kink in his antennae where it changed direction. Zim breathed in raggedly as you rubbed towards the tip. Your mouth curling into a lecherous smile .

 _Just like a penis, I guess the tip is the most sensitive part._

Using your forefinger you gave the tip a light tap, Zim grunted in response.

"Did that hurt, Zim?"

"No Earthworm, it just felt strange. Usually, I don't let anyone touch that, let alone-"

"Let alone anything else. So long as it didn't hurt you."

Tracing your fingers down the tip, the appendage twitched as you gently held them. You leaned forward and began to whisper.

"Zim, I'm going to lick your antennae, is that ok?"  
Zim grunted, nibbling on your nipple, another jolt going down to your wet core.

"Of course."  
You leaned forward a bit more, moving the antenna towards your mouth. You darted you tongue out, swiping the very tip of the appendage. A shudder ripped through Zim, a strangled moan coming from him. His claws gripped tightly onto your breasts, the sharp 'points' digging into your flesh deliciously.

You gave a longer lick, from the point where it changes direction to the tip, this time using more than the tip of your tongue. You made a long, loud and lewd " _ahhhn~"_ sound as you slowly licked him.

Zim was quickly losing composure, his grunts becoming frantic and his legs and feet clenching up. He had begun to sweat profusely, a light sheen coating his body giving him a shine under the light.

"(Y/N)…"

Zim panted, he had turned his head upwards to look at you from his half lidded eyes.

This had turned you on immensely, seeing Zim like this; sinful and incoherent, and caused completely by your touch. You breathed in raggedly, your mouth forming a "o" shape. Your core was throbbing at the tremble of his voice, your name on his lips.

You rubbed the base of the antenna as you resumed licking, much like you would with a actual penis. Zim groaned without restraint.

 _Oh my god, maybe I can get Zim to cum just by this. Wait._

You smirked at that thought; a new goal, or rather, experiment now in your mind.

You returned to the antenna, this time changing tactics, you rubbed the tip and licked the base, again reminding you that this was pretty much a blowjob.

Zim bit into your right nipple, his zipper teeth causing a delicious bout of painful electricity going down your spine. Zim struggled beneath you, his pants desperate and heavy.

You wanted to grind against him, against his now squirming cock. You wanted to feel his member slide into you and squirm against your walls.

 _Ah, what should I do? Have Zim cum by antenna or in me?_

You thought to yourself, stopping all activity, much to Zim's displeasure.

"W-Why on Irk are you stopping, reader-worm?!"

Zim quickly yelled, impatient and slightly offended that you would dare stop pleasuring him.

"Zim, do you want to have sex with me or do you want to cum from the antenna play?"

Zim grunted, impatient. For a few seconds, Zim did not answer you.

"I... I want to be inside you, reader worm."

He said in a low, whiny voice. His eyes had darkened considerably, he was glaring at you despite what he said.

You lowered yourself a bit, your face now level with Zim's face. You leaned in and gave Zim a soft kiss. He reciprocated eagerly, gripping your rear end tightly. The kiss intensified as you both bit each other's lips, your teeth mashing against each other.

Zim thrusted his hips upward, his cock brushing against your ass. You both groaned at the friction. You stopped, pressing your foreheads together. Zim went in for another kiss, but you moved away, giggling like a lovesick schoolgirl. Though, to be fair, you kind of are one.

"Zim... Jesus fuck Zim..."

You breathed out, your voice hoarse. Between your legs was absolutely drenched; it ran down your thighs, soaking Zim's lower half. Things were getting more than a little heated and very quickly at that. Soon enough, one of you would finish.

You took a deep breath to steady yourself, looking straight into Zim's eyes.

"How do you want to take me? Do you want to take the lead or do you want me to be in control?"

You whispered, pressing your forehead against his again, your foreheads slipped slightly thanks to the slick sheen of sweat that had coated your forehead. You giggled at the whiny noise coming from Zim. He glared at you, before smiling smugly.

"As much as I'd love to snatch control from you, the amazing, incredibly considerate Zim has seen fit to allow you to take the reins for this."

Zim was extremely smug as he said this, a lopsided smirk stretched out on his face. You saw through his bullshit, but couldn't help but chuckle at his bravado.

"So, you want me to take the lead? Alright, I'm gonna need you to lie on your back. I'll take it from there."

Zim laid down as you moved off of him, contemplating your next move.

 _I do want to atleast give Zim's cock a good taste, but he looks like he's close to finishing, and I'm not too far off myself._

You bit your lip as you looked down at Zim's crotch. His cock was very active; the head leaking precum, the beads running down the base in a way that made you want to treat Zim's cock like a lollipop.

Zim looked at your legs, taking notice for the first time the wetness between your legs. He quirked his eyebrow.

"Did you wet yourself?"

 _Oh sweet fucking Jesus._ You burst into laughter, unable to control yourself as you snorted. You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself before answering.

"Hahaha, no Zim, no, That's - that's arousal. I'm horny as hell right now. That wetness is pretty much lube."

It probably wasn't the best explanation, certainly not the most accurate one but Zim understood what you meant and your head was too cloudy and warm to really think of a better explanation.

Zim caught you off guard, however, when his claw tips brushed your pussy. He gently spread your pussy lips and peered into your sopping wet cunt.

You moaned at his touch, gasping for air. Zim cocked his head to the side as he moved his fingers around, exploring your core.

"Z-Zim - _ah~_ "

You moaned wantonly, not a care in the world as Zim played with your folds, lifting the hood revealing your pulsing clit.

"What on Irk is this?"

"That's - that's a clitoris. _Fuck, yes~"_

You threw your head back, Zim lightly poked the nub, watching your reactions.

"And what is it for, exactly?"

"It's - fuck, you can't ask me these questions when toying with me!"

Your thighs had clenched themselves together, Zim's hand still between them. Zim mouth was set in a smug grin.

"And why is that, human?"

You panted as he continued tracing your slit, his pointer claw locating and circling your hole, lightly dipping the very tip inside but teasing you as he quickly left. You groaned.

"Oh my god - Zim, I swear to, to all that's holy -"

You were extremely sensitive down there when things were getting hot and heavy, and right now was no exception. And now, Zim knew that.

Zim dug his knuckle into your clit, the roughness sending a jolt down your spine leaving a delicious tingle. You bit your bottom lip as you rocked your hips against his hand.

You looked at Zim's face and if you could die from smug exposure, you would have exploded along with the entire plant. Zim was not attempting to hide how he felt about making you moan, making you weak to his touch. His smile said a million words.

"Z-Zim, if - if you keep this up - I'll - I'll -"

You stuttered as you tried to warn Zim you were dangerously close to finishing. The fire in your stomach was going insane and twisting itself, the pressure in your core building up quickly to the point of pain.

"You'll what, (Y/N)-worm?"

You opened your mouth to reply but gasped loudly when Zim slowly inserted his finger into your entrance, sliding in easily thanks to how wet you were. He rubbed against your walls slowly, getting a feel for how you felt on the inside.

You threw your head back as you felt your stomach coil tightly, feeling like it was strangling itself before it uncoiled itself just as fast. You felt your thighs go weak, a "pins and needles" feeling washing over them. Your head felt light, your vision fading to white like static.

A shattering wave washed over you, white noise filling your ears as you felt your pussy quiver as a fire trailed down your stomach and through your core, your inner thighs drenched. Your mouth was open in a large "o" shape, a loud almost scream-like moan escaping you and filling the room.

You relaxed your rigid posture, the aftershocks of your climax making your head feel heavy and hazy. Zim removed his finger from your sopping core and sniffed them, before wiping his hand clean on the bed. You breathed in deeply, shuddering as you wiped your forehead as you bent down a bit.

"Holy fuck, that was… Thats was great…"

You breathed out, twitching slightly. Zim smugly smiled, pleased with himself. You untucked your knees, sitting on the side, one leg hanging off the side of the bed. You bit your lip.

"Give me a few times, I need to - I need to rest."

"What just happened?"

You looked at Zim, confused for a for few seconds before you realised that Zim was gloating.

"I just, I just orgasmed."

You both stared at each other for a few seconds before you laughed, your words sinking in..Zim's face broke into a smug smile, his eyes closing. You laughed even more.

"I - I didn't think I'd finish so soon, or first for that matter. You know how to use those fingers, Zim."

You laughed again, stretching yourself out and working out a kink in your back. You sighed in relief as your back relaxed.

Despite your orgasm, you still wanted more. You wanted to ride Zim until your mind was numb to the rest of the world.

 _Jesus, I'm horny as hell._

You thought to yourself, you felt like you could go another round which was good, you hadn't had your fill of Zim yet. You smiled widely.

Zim was still laying down, but had propped himself up somewhat with his elbows and was looking at you with a questioning gaze, watching you intently. You lazily waved your hand to the side.

"I'm fine, people sometimes get a little tired after, you know."

You gestured to your groin and thighs, Zim nodded slowly. You looked at Zim's crotch, he was still hard and raring to go.

"Readyfor the grand _fuckin'_ finale?" You asked crudely, crawling over and swinging your right leg over him straddling him, your slit was just above his cock. Zim grunted as he watched you with needy eyes.

"Of course I am human. Irkens have twice the stamina as your puny race, we do not tire out as easily."

You could tell from his matter of fact tone that he wasn't trying to do dirty talk, he was just being factual with a side order of _I.S.C_ , aka Irken Superiority Complex.

You gently gripped Zim's shaft, holding firmly as he squirmed against you. You honestly could stare at Zim's dick for hours; the way it was effectively a tentacle intrigued and amazed you, even more so that it moved like one too. You looked into Zim's eyes.

"Remember the safe word?"  
"It's still 'Stop'."

You smiled and slowly lowered yourself, you slid Zim's head against your slit, rubbing him on your clit. You both groaned at the friction.

"You - You ready Zim?"

"I'm always ready."

You brought his cock back to your entrance and slowly, almost torturously, lowered yourself onto him, his cock easily sliding in. You both moaned loudly as you took his entirety in you.

You stayed seated on his lap for a few seconds, getting used to the feeling of Zim's cock actively squirming inside you. It was a unique and insanely arousing feeling;as if Zim was searching for the deepest and most intimate parts of you.

Zim was a panting mess beneath you, his eyes were half lidded and cross eyed and his mouth was a drunken lopsided smile. His hands had gripped the bed sheets tightly. You sighed as you rolled your hips side to side, grinding against Zim. A strangled moan ripped through his throat.

"H-human…!"  
Zim whined, your hips had ceased their actions and you leaned forward a bit, bracing yourself on the bed as you lifted yourself, you moaned as you felt Zim's cock slide out.

"Z-Zim, are you - are you still - _haaah~ -_ still good to go?"

You wanted to make sure, above everything else, that Zim was ok and that he was enjoying himself. Zim looked at you, his eyes were dark with lust and annoyance.

"Just - Just move already!"

That was all you needed to hear from Zim. You slammed your hips down. Zim arched his back as both your hips met with a wet slap. You breathed out as you slowly rode him, you breathing becoming more ragged.

Zim grabbed your hips, not caring for his claws as they dug in. He thrusted upwards, hissing loudly and his eyes screwed shut.

"Human…!"

Zim called out, his voice strained as he tried to ram you, but his inexperience was showing. It wasn't a smooth thrust and it broke the pace.

"Z - Zim, try - try using your - your hands!"

Zim, despite your lack of direction, understood what you meant. He gripped your hips, slamming you down onto him, causing you to see stars as the pace got quicker and harder.

"Oh - Oh God yes, Zim -"

Your hands were now splayed out on Zim's smooth chest, your nails raking his skin but not hard enough to cause pain or leave marks. You held onto each other as you grinded against one another.

"Spank me!"

"E-eh?!"

"H - here! Spank - Spank me here!"

You grabbed Zim's hands and moved them down to your rear. You fell forward a bit and leaned against Zim's chest with your right hand. Zim lightly tapped your right cheek, confused at your request.

"What?"

You slowed down a bit, throwing Zim off the rhythm. He made an annoyed grunt, glaring at you. You ignored his glare for the moment.

"Like - like slapping. Slap me there!"

You gestured to your ass and Zim understood what you were asking for. He obliged, giving a light spank. You gasped at the light sting, grinding against him.

"H-harder~"

You begged, need heavy in your voice. Zim had the smuggest grin on his face, watching you beg. Again he spanked you, this time harder, hard enough to leave a red mark and a sharper sting in his wake.

"A-again! Harder!"

Zim again did as you asked and he spanked you at the right level, causing you to whimper above him. Zim laughed.

"Haaahahaha! Yes puny hyoo-man! Whimper and beg for the mighty Zim!"

You slowed down your bounces to a torturously slow pace, earning a whine from Zim. Perhaps it was a bit cruel, but you low key wanted to show Zim who was in charge here. Or atleast, who was in charge _right now_.

"Oh? What was that Zim?"

You smiled sickeningly sweetly at Zim. He glared at you as you picked up the pace once more.

You panted together; the wet, slick sounds of skin slapping together echoing through the room. You began to feel the familiar coiling feel of your orgasm begin in your loins.

"Z-Zim, are you - are you close to finishing?"

You breathed out, your voice barely a whisper as you grabbed your left breast and squeezed moderately roughly. Zim spanked you in response, bringing a moan out of you.

"I - I can feel the end, (Y/N)!"

A distant memory came into your head, back in 9th grade Zim and Dib argued about something, but it ended with Zim declaring that the genetic compatibility of humans and Irkens were practically non-existent unless Irken technology was used to help. This memory reminded you that there was no (natural) way of getting pregnant from Zim, which left you with a burning thought.

 _I can get creampied._

With this thought alone, you could have generated enough electricity to power the city if you both were connected to a conductor. It got you bouncing on Zim's cock as if it was about to go out of style, your breasts bouncing in sync.

Zim noticed your enthusiasm immediately and met your energetic bounces as fast as he could, using his hands to propel your hips down faster and harder, his cock buried deep inside you. It positively pulsed inside of you, the squirming cock had gotten frantic in it's movements.

"Zim~"

You moaned lewdly, the pressure building up inside you as you rode him frantically. Zim grunted as he spanked you, your flesh rippling. You threw your head back, moaning loudly.

"I - I want you to finish inside of me!"

 _I really want the cream fucking pie!_

You thought to yourself, your mind becoming hazy and heavy, a low burn ignited in your stomach as each thrust drew you closer and closer to the edge.

"Fuck, God yes - Zim…!"

A particularly hard thrust sent you falling, and you only just caught yourself from crushing Zim by your elbows. You propped yourself up before you nearly fell forward again, laughing this time.

Zim ignored you, continuously slamming you onto his cock, his eyes needy and his breathing harsh as he focused purely on you. You raked your fingers down his chest, this time hard enough to leave dark green nail markings. He hissed in response, his head thrown back into the pillow as his back arched forward.

Both of you became frantic as you both felt your ends coming fast. You felt like earth had slowed down as you dug your nails into Zim's chest. You core pulsed as sweat dripped down your chest, your heart pounding as your breathing only intensified.

"(Y/N), I - I'm about to-"

You understood Zim immediately, you were about to cum with him. You felt like you were about to combust, your head full of static and bliss as you grew closer and closer to your finish.

"Zim~"

You drew his name out slowly and loudly, you face showing nothing but pure pleasure. Zim lost himself in a frenzy, you could see in his eyes an intense hunger as they narrowed.

You felt your stomach coil tightly, your legs clenched around Zim's hips and your toes curled, you took a deep breath as the feeling washed over you.

"O - Oh fuck Zim - I'm gonna-"

" _Ngahhh!"_

Zim cut you off, an animalistic groan ripping through him as he gripped your hips so tightly that you felt for sure that he had punctured flesh. He jerked his hips forward harshly and a spurt of warmth filled your pussy and dripped out of you, bringing you over the edge as Zim pumped his load into you.

A wave flushed over you, overwhelming your senses as static filled your ears and your vision faded, the two of you moaning together filled the room as you both lost yourselves in your both stayed there for a moment, panting as the aftershocks of orgasm washed over you.

You felt wet warmth pool out of you and onto Zim's groin, another wave washing over you as you felt your senses come back, the air cooling you off somewhat. You felt tired and sticky, but damn did you feel good. Real good.

You slowly lifted yourself off, Zim's cock sliding out of you, it had become soft and limp and no longer squirmed. Cum dripped out of your cunt onto his cock, fatigue washing over you as you got off of Zim and laid down next to him.

You turned your head to look at Zim; panting loudly, eyes closed. A bead of sweat trailed down his forehead onto the pillow. You smiled, in your eyes Zim honestly was beautiful, he had this energy and glow about him that you couldn't describe.

"I hope you enjoyed yourself?"

You asked, curious on what he would say. Zim opened one of his eyes to look at you and for a moment did not answer. He finally sighed, a small pleased smile on his face.

"You were… adequate. You exceeded my expectations."

You laughed, fist bumping him. Your arms were sore and tired, and so were your legs. Your arms fell back down, causing the bed to jump somewhat.

"I live to not disappoint. I'm glad you liked it. I… I really enjoyed myself."

You said this blushing, thinking of the slow and sensual foreplay that led up to this. It caused a warm feeling to spread through your chest, but you bit your lip, trying to quell those feelings.

 _No, that won't happen. Never will._

Zim hadn't given much thought to what you said, rolling over to face you fully. You rolled over too, curious.

"... Thank you, (Y/N)-worm."

Zim said this sincerely, catching you off guard completely. You smiled and chuckled softly, shaking your head.

"No, no - it's fine. I had fun, you had fun - we don't need to thank each other, I think."

You looked back at Zim, his magenta eyes drooping down somewhat. Zim looked exhausted. You yawned, also feeling exhausted.

"Is… is it cool if I sleep here? For the night? We can share the bed, if you're cool with that."

The words spewed from your mouth before you could stop them. Zim shrugged.

"Sure, I only need a few hours before I'm fully recharged."

You quirked your eyebrow, laughing.

"You Irkens are _so_ weird."

You bent down and grabbed the quilt at the end of the bed, quickly covering the both of your bodies. The cold was beginning to settle on your skin.

"Thank God it's Friday, huh?"

Zim laughed, shuffling a bit and grabbing the doona, getting into a more comfortable position.

"Good night, Zim."

You leaned in and kissed Zim's forehead without much thought, but Zim didn't say anything in response to it. He only yawned out a small "good night" before his snores filled the room which had dimmed somewhat.

You turned onto your back, thinking to yourself. You had fun, it was good sex and it was with Zim, so why did you feel… off? You didn't regret sleeping with Zim, the furthest thing from it actually. So what was that odd, heavy feeling in your chest?

 _Oh, who cares? Let's not dwell on that, just had sex with an alien, I took one for humanity and I'm effectively the first human ever to have sex with an Irken,_ You thought triumphantly with a smile. You turned yourself around to face Zim, closing your eyes with a smile.

 _Good night, Zim._

Oh my god it's finally over. I want to give to give a HUGE shout out to 5 people, Amy (who got me off my ass and started to write again), raunchyandpaunchy (my amazing beta who put up with my awful rough draft of this), PhilipJFry aka Jojo Kujo (who giving some amazing motivation) and LostInTheThicket (for also giving amazing motivation). The last three are AO3 writers here, go check them out!

This took far too long to write. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this- it's been four years since I've posted, or finished a fanfiction, I hope it was decent, especially since it's the first reader fic I've ever written. I also hope Zim is believable and in character. And that I'm not the only with with headcanons about Irken erogenous areas lol.

Also, I think this says without going, but don't read any of my previous fanfics here on , they're _years_ old and no longer represent my writing. I can actually write an entire paragraph, for one thing. I've also uploaded this onto my AO3, Sleepy Smutty Godzilla, if you'd like, follow me there!

I think that's all for now, thank you again for reading this fic and the author's note, and I'm thinking about writing a sequel to this, I have a few ideas in my mind for this. Tell me what you think! Thanks again, see ya!


	2. Captain, We Have Lift Off

"Jesus fucking Christ, Zim. If I knew you were going to be this goddamn thirsty…"

You rolled your eyes as Zim peered down the hallway, his paranoid eyes narrowing as he looked for any human. Luckily for the both of you, there was no one wandering around, especially a hall monitor. Zim groaned impatiently as he swiftly turned towards you, his eyes needy.

"I know not of this, 'thirst' that Zim supposedly has,"Zim whispered loudly, turning to glance towards the hall. He snarled as he spotted a hall monitor walking down the hall, only to walk into the girl's bathroom "Unlike half of your planet, I stay hydrated! And I told you to prepare yourself for today, did you not understand the message I sent you last night?!"

.

"Fuckin' excuse me? Zim, you sent Gir, there was no message unless you want to go to the taco rave that's happening."

"What?" Zim turned towards you, the confusion on his face giving to comprehension as your words sunk in. Zim facepalmed and pinched his… well, pinched where the bridge of his nose would be. You could only scoff.

"Exactly."

Zim cursed in Irken under his breath as he turned back around, his eyes darting and suddenly widening. Without any warning, Zim grabbed your hand and began to sprint towards the boy's bathroom, dragging you along.

"Listen, Earth filth, I set up a grand scheme just to get us some privacy, you had better be grateful that I still need to keep my disguise as a human up."

He growled under his breath as he kicked the door of the boy's bathroom open, a loud BANG echoing through the halls as it slammed into the wall. You rolled your eyes, following him through the door.

"So, th- "

"- There is no excursion on today. The humans are being sent to the city as a distraction."

He cut in without a care for what you were about to say as he walked to the furthest cubicle. Your face twisted in disgust at the smell of the bathroom.

 _God, not even the girl's bathroom smells this bad. Wait, he doesn't think that-?_

"We're not going to have a quickie in the school toilets, are we? Please say no," you half asked, half begged.

Zim gagged harshly as he slammed the cubicle door open and walked in briskly, with you following, albeit reluctantly. Zim slapped his hand on a bathroom tile as the door closed behind you, a light flashing as he did. A loud, mechanical click was heard, the echo resonating through the room. Soon after a loud hum filled the silence. You raised your brow as Zim grinned at you maniacally.

"The great Zim would never settle for a… bathroom tryst. I'm far, far above that. We're going back to my lab to… take care of things."

He looked away with a dark shade of green dusting his cheeks. You smirked as you leaned a bit towards him, the height difference between you allowed to you show off a bit of your bust to… further stimulate him. He caught onto your action immediately, growling.

"If it wasn't for your vile, animalistic behavior this past couple of days I wouldn't have to grovel for this, this sweet release!"

You only gave him another raised brow and an awkward smile, trying to figure out what he was talking about. It had been hot this past couple of days, so like most girls (you say most because of Gaz), you wore a little less, mostly singlets and shorts. Nothing too risqué.

Well, apparently seeing your legs (perhaps it was your ankles? Or maybe your shoulders?) caused Zim a great deal of stress, of the sexual kind. You couldn't believe it.

"Are… Are you serious…?"

"The amazing Zim does not joke about such serious matters, (Y/n)-worm."

And, like so many times when you couldn't believe it, he was being genuine, one hundred percent serious. Sometimes, you couldn't believe what came out of Zim's mouth. You rolled your eyes again.

Ever since you became "friends with benefits", you and Zim were having sex semi-regularly. As such, it usually happened at your house,when your parents weren't around, or at Zim's house,when Gir wasn't around. It wasn't without its issues (especially because you were fucking the _King of Issues_ , Zim), but for the most part, you were harmonious, or as harmonious as you could get when associating yourself with Zim.

But occasionally, an issue would occur where Zim would… jump the gun too quickly, so to speak, and get too impatient when setting up a time and place, like right now.

"Honestly Zim, learn how to send a text something, that's at least more reliable than Gir."

He didn't say anything in response to you as the toilet began to disassemble itself. A flash of recognition ran through your mind suddenly, the words tumbling out of your mouth.

"A teleporter?"

Zim grinned in pride before he answered smugly.

"I see that even an inferior human's mind can comprehend something as complex as a teleporter. Just as well my - Eh, what are you again?"

"Friend with benefits."

"My friend with benefits is at the very least somewhat knowledgeable, more than the common earth-scum that inhabit this fffffilthy disgusting, loathsome planet."

You tutted to yourself as he continued ranting to himself. If it wasn't for the fact that you've been hanging out with him for years and were used to his often demeaning and highly derogatory rants, you might have taken offense at his words. But alas, you felt nothing for his insulting words and instead ignored him in favor of the teleporter in front of you. You gulped.

"Your teleporter won't accidentally kill us, right?"

Your slightly uneasy question snapped Zim out of his rambling. He glared at you before he answered.

"You think I would build something faulty, earth-worm?"

"No." _Yes._

Zim huffed indignantly, turning back towards the teleporter and began to type on the keyboard, inputting a command you couldn't see.

"Yes, it's safe; the chance of death is a minuscule 0.0001 percent chance."

 _Oh, sweet fuckin' Jesus._

The humming was no longer there, the only sounds in the bathroom were you, Zim and a dripping sound echoing through the room. With a satisfied noise, Zim stopped typing and a light turned on, the humming resuming.

"This will take us straight to my lab, from there we will have until the "excursion" - He made quotation marks using his fingers and a mocking tone was used- "is officially over -"

"Which is 'till way past the end of the skool day and since I'm going to assume that you've taken care of the question of, "Where is Zim and (Y/N)?", we've got a fair amount of time on our hands to have fun,"You finished off, head turning to look at Zim as you placed your hands on your hips with a satisfied smirk. Zim grumbled at your interruption but nodded.

"Yes, effectively. You catch on fast. Now, grab onto me and let's go, it smells awful here."

And without even so much as a warning, he pressed a button as you hurriedly grabbed his forearm, hoping that would be enough. A bright light enveloped the two of you, transporting you both.

You both materialized safely in Zim's lab, much to your relief; you had all your bits and pieces attached to you. You stretched as you walked off the teleportation pad with Zim, who made sure to always be one or two steps ahead of you. You lightly scoffed, rolling your eyes.

"So, where we fuckin'?" You asked crudely, a large lecherous grin making its way onto your face as you heard a splutter from ahead of you. Despite the borderline excruciatingly painful air of, _I'm superior to you in every way and I'm never less than perfect_ that he's shrouded himself in when it comes to sex Zim is easy to fluster, and thanks to your keen eye you know exactly what to say. 

Zim recovered quick however with a cough, he turned to face you with both hands clasped behind his back, all professional looking. 

"I haven't decided on where we will spend the next few hours together - I was going to ask you of your thoughts, Earth-worm." 

You raised a brow at his stiffness (hah!) - he was being overly straightforward and stoic, almost to a comical degree. You crossed your arms as you stepped towards him, looking at him under your lashes with a sultry look donning your face.

"Well, what are you feeling? What do you want?"

Zim gulped loudly as his eyes widened, watching you slowly bring a hand towards his chest, tracing a circle with one finger on his chest lazily. The delicious shade of dark green returned to his cheeks, much to your delight; you loved that shade of green on him, it gave you a rush knowing that you could cause such a blush.

"I - I -"

Zim sputtered at first, his breath somewhat uneven but again he regained his composure quickly once again.

"That thing where - where you use your mouth…"

You hummed, understanding him once the word "mouth" was said. You had introduced Zim to the wonderful idea of a blowjob a couple of weeks ago and even gave him one, since then he would sometimes stare at your mouth with wonder during lunch time. You smiled at him with half lidded eyes, gazing at him.

"A blowjob?"

You answered him in a low suave voice. Zim nodded with a glare and a blush.

You looked around the lab, looking for somewhere to sit down and kneel comfortably before your eyes fell on something even better than a chair.

"Hey - is that operational?"

Zim's ship was a beautiful masterpiece of technology, and he took care of it like every other teen boy with his first car. Only, it's a spaceship that has been outfitted with weapons that could cause major damage to whatever Zim decided to attack.

Zim had upgraded his ship many times over the years, as he grew so did the ship essentially. According to Dib, when Zim first came here it could barely with 2 skool children and was cramped when more than one person was in it, now it could 3 full grown adults in it and then some.

When you first pointed out the ship, Zim was confused and even pointed out a chair nearby which you had missed… Until you said _"_ No, I wanna go to space _"_. Then, realisation dawned on his face as he realised what you planned on doing. He coughed behind his fist and mumbled "yes" to your question and walked briskly to his ship. You openly marvelled at his ship, sometimes due to everyday interaction and skool you would occasionally forget that despite Zim being a bit of a goof, he and his race was quite a bit more technologically advanced than your race, to the point where Zim's favourite insult of "puny humans" rang some truth. Compared to the Irkens, Humans were cavemen.

Or maybe not, Dib's dad had helped human technology improve in leaps and bounds ever since he became a scientist.

You shook your head, ignoring your thoughts and focused on Zim as he opened the ship door and beckoned you to follow him inside of it. You both climbed in and sat next to each other, Zim obviously in the passenger seat. For a minute, you both sat in the quiet, comfortable. You turned and looked at Zim.

"So, you're sure you want to do this? I'll help clean up afterwards if you are."

'I'm sure earth-worm, just buckle up. Your pathetic human body might not be able to withstand space's gravitational pull once we begin to leave Earth's atmosphere."

You looked around your seat, looking for a seatbelt. You became extremely concerned when you found none.

"Zim, there's uh, there's no seat belt."

Zim smirked as he glanced at you, turning the ship on and grabbing onto the steering stick.

"That's because there is no need for one."

You felt your stomach drop, your face paled as you gripped onto your seat for dear life.

"Zim, if we fuckin' die I'm going to kill you!"

He didn't bother to answer you as the ship took off, with you screaming while Zim laughed his trademark evil laugh. The ship flew up, zooming past the now open roof into the sky, past the clouds. The sky slowly turned from the rather ominous dull orange to black. You stopped screaming as you looked out of the ship's windows, staring into Space, literally.

You were in space.  
You were in space.  
 _You were in fucking space._

"Holy… holy shit…"

You breathed out, leaning forward and looking into the emptiness of space. You felt your body lurch forward, no longer sitting down but floating towards the window. Well, it wasn't empty, not exactly. You could see the stars glimmering in the vast darkness of space. Your face was no longer pale, and you felt like you were so happy that you could float.

Well, technically… you were floating, somewhat. Your hair fanned out lazily, you pushed it away from you face and watched in amazement as you saw from the reflection of the window the hair floated away.

Zim grunted, snapping you out of your thoughts. Zim was rubbing his antennae, his face scrunched up in pain. He glared at you.

"You and your insufferably loud voice!"

"You weren't complaining a couple of nights ago."

Zim scoffed. You leaned forward and pushed his hands away, clasping his antennae in both of your hands. You were unused to feeling so… so light, like a feather.

"Allow me. I can do that."

You rubbed both of his antennae, Zim slowly relaxing into your touch with a content sigh. You both stayed there for a minute, enjoying each other's company. After a while, Zim brushed your hands away, with an unreadable expression on his face.

"… So, about our time."

You rolled your eyes, leaning back into your seat. Truth be told, you hadn't expected a thanks from Zim of all people, but you wouldn't mind it if he at least acknowledged your efforts.

Hah! Zim saying thank you would probably kill him.

"What's with the gravity here? I'm gripping my seat so I don't float. Shit's cool."

Zim had a look of confusion before realisation hit his face like a baseball bat to the knee cap, he looked down where he was sitting and realised that he too, was floating. He made an annoyed grunt as he went back to the control panel and pressed a button. With that, the magic was dropped, literally. You felt the weight of your body again, your hair dropped, and you no longer had to grip your seat until your knuckles were white. Zim fell onto his seat with an _oof_.

"The gravity drive was shut off," Zim grumbled, not really looking at anything. He seemed to be lost in thought. You laid a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look at you.

"I'm ready when you are."

His mouth formed a smirk and he understood what you meant. Slowly, your hand on his shoulder crept to the back of his neck and you sat up, swinging a leg over his lap. You sat down gently on his lap with a flirty smile and with your other hand, traced the bottom of his chin with one finger lazily towards you, tilting his face up.

You both leaned in, your lips connecting with a hunger. You both kissed each other roughly, with energy you both battled for dominance as your tongue swiped his bottom lip.  
Kissing Zim was like a game, you were the one to always ask for entrance, always the one on the defence. Zim never once asked to enter your mouth, you were the one to grovel for entrance. The dynamic you had with Zim was very much a Dom/sub dynamic, mainly due to Zim's ego. However, you liked being the sub, being the one to ask and beg. It was unique, strange.

Zim tongue brushed against your own, giving you permission. You moaned softly as his tongue wrapped around yours, a trait known only to the Irken. Its hardened texture felt divine, rubbing against your softer, squishier tongue. Neither of you wanted to give into each other, even though the two of you knew the outcome, where you would submit with a wistful moan and he would chuckle, feeling victorious from his triumph over you.

Soon enough, Zim had won your "competition". You melted into his kiss as he snaked his arms around your waist, his claw tips digging into your flesh. A groan came from Zim as he pulled you down, flushing you against his chest. You broke apart for a few frenzied seconds, yanking your shirt up frantically you threw it somewhere over the chair and resumed kissing Zim.

You were both engrossed in each other, not realising that your phone was ringing, _The Big Ship_ playing and getting louder by the second. Finally, the vibrations against your hip tore your attention from Zim and you reached into your pocket. You looked at the screen as you pulled it out and sighed.

"It's Dib, shut up for a minute."

You placed a finger on Zim's lips before you swiped to answer, not giving Zim a chance to argue.

"Hey Dib, what's up?"

"(Y/N)! Thank God you're okay! Zim is up to something, he's put everyone into the skool buses on an excursion-" you could hear the mocking tone in his voice and saw Zim face contorted with anger. You shook your head no with a frown, trying to keep Zim quiet.

"Yeah, It's just me and him right now. We're sitting at class, Mrs Bitters had to step out, Principal called her to his office. Zim's just sitting down, staring at the blackboard, has his weird smile on his face, you know the one."

Of course, he did, he spent every waking moment of his later elementary skool years and all of middle skool watching his every move, he knew Zim's crazy behaviour and how he'd most likely react to any situation. You could he Dib growl on the other side of the line.

"That slimy alien is plotting something, I just know-"

"I gotta go Dib, Mrs Bitters is down the hallway. If anything, else happens, I'll text you."

You hung up on him before he could answer, removing your finger from Zim's lips. He gave you a satisfied smirk.

"I didn't realise you were willing to lie for me, (name)-worm."

"Don't get used to it, pal."

Zim's smirk stayed on his face as he looked down from your face to chest, taking in the view of your breasts. Today you were wearing a plain grey sports bra, nothing fancy. You tended to favour comfort over looks when it came to your underwear. Zim's hands went to your back, gripping the bra clasp.

"Zim?" 

"Hang on."

"Seriously, I can do-" 

"Don't undermine me, earth worm!"

"Jesus Christ…"

You rolled your eyes and pulled back a bit. Zim rolled his eyes and groaned, not pleased. Using one hand, you undid the bra and smirked, waving the bra in front of his still annoyed but astonished face.

"Took me a full day to learn how to pull that off."

At this, Zim scoffed. "Maybe if you earthlings learnt how to make proper clothes-"

"Zim, shut up and touch me."

Zim snapped his eyes back to you and lifted his hands, grabbing your breasts, his grip a little tight. Zim cocked his mouth upwards, cocky as he heard your moan.

"Remember (Y/N)-worm, you don't get to make the orders, I do."

He squeezed your breasts with vigour, you bit your bottom lip and looked at Zim under half-lidded eyes.

"Uh-huh."

Your hands went to his head, slipping them under the wig trying not to have it fall off, you traced the base of his antennae, they twitched at your touch. You could hear a low moan coming from Zim.

"H-Human, that… the blowjob…"

You chuckled a bit, dropping your hands to your chest, waving Zim's own hands away.

"Alright, I hear ya loud and clear- spread your legs a bit."

With that, you lowered yourself from the seat, looking behind you as you tried to manoeuvre your way down and not hit the control panel. Zim spread his legs a it as you kneeled in front of him, placing your hands on the side of his knees. Zim gripped the seat edges, watching you. You glanced up.

"Don't pull my hair too hard or too fast, okay? Just tug it, not yank it."

Zim nodded his head as you looked back down, your eye level with his crotch. Sitting up a bit, you traced your fingertips up the outer thighs, pulling Zim's tunic up with them. Grasping both the bands of his pants and his underwear, pulling them down slowly, you gazed at Zim under lustful eyes with a small, flirty smile.

You looked down as you reached Zim's feet, gazing at his groin and… seeing seeing a wet slit. Your eyes widened a bit in shock, but you said nothing, realising that Zim wasn't quite, ah, ready to show himself yet.

 _I wonder…_

Your hands moved up his legs, going from tracing with the fingertips to the hands sliding against the thigh, you leaned in and kissed the inner thigh of his leg. You heard Zim hiss in response, his hands gripping the seat's edges.

You kissed your way upwards, emulating what you had seen in porn, but usually the genders were reversed. Pushing Zim's legs apart a bit more as you reached his groin, you could see a slight wetness seeping through the slit and the very tip of his cock was peeking out. You looked up at Zim with a lazy smile, noticing the gorgeous blush on his cheeks, the way his mouth was open and panting, a small streak of drool coming from his mouth and the way his half-lidded eyes looked at you with such an intensity and yet, weakness…

It left you feeling insanely hot, a fire igniting in your stomach. You felt a coil wrap inside of you, winding tightly. Your pussy throbbed. You loved it, you loved the way Zim looked right now. The fact that you were the cause of it made you feel light headed.

"Fuck me, you're beautiful."

You told Zim, you felt like you had to, felt like he needed to know that you personally found him to be so beautiful right now as he looked at you with want. God, you loved it, it felt like it could intoxicate you, the way his eyes looked; the way it could show that amount of feeling through his human contacts was amazing.

You looked back at Zim's groin and could see some more of his cock come to greet you. You leaned again and kissed the tip, a shudder rippling through Zim. You kissed down his slit and licked upwards, swirling your tongue around Zim's cock. Zim groaned above you, his hands now reaching for your head, threading their fingers into your hair.

You enveloped what was out and sucked on his cock lightly, flicking your tongue out and licking the very tip. A strangled groan was all the warning you need as the rest of Zim's cock slid out, fully erect. You moved away just in time, with a giggle you looked back at Zim.

"Looks like someone's eager to see me."

You leaned back down and flicked the cock head with your tongue, pleased to see a bead of precum appearing. Wasting no time, you gripped the base, his cock squirming somewhat.  
Oh god, yeah that thing moves, Jesus this might feel weird.

Feeling a little worried for your throat, you kissed the tip, feeling it move a bit inside your mouth, pushing against your front teeth.

 _Does this thing have a mind of its own or can Zim control it?_

Pushing that thought aside, you shrugged and opened your mouth and slid Zim's penis down your mouth, stopping when you felt the tip touch the back, squirming a bit more when it felt the heat and wetness of its surroundings. You felt a little tense as you felt his cock wave against the wall of your throat.

 _I swear, if Zim rips my throat out with his dick…_ You slowly got used to the feel of Zim's tentacle cock move around, slowly as if it got used to where it was, it slowed to a near stop, only twitching every few seconds. Relieved that you wouldn't be caused any harm, you slowly slid down, enveloping more of his cock. You managed to get about half way through before your gag reflex kicked in. But you managed to get few inches and a bit down, so you were proud of yourself.

Using your hand to slowly pump the base, you began to slowly bob your head up and down at a steady pace, starting slowly before picking up speed. Zim gasped above you, one hand now gripping the seat, while the other held onto your head.

"(Y/N)…!" He groaned out your name, his voice a needy, whiny rasp, a stark difference from his usual proud screech. Like everything else, you loved the sound of it. It filled you with pride, knowing that you were the only human - maybe the only being - to have ever seen Zim like this, and to be the reason for it.

A low hum escaped you, pleased with how your name tumbled from his lips, and slowly your throat adjusted to his length, accepting the entirety of his cock. Zim wasn't small by any means, standing at a proud 7 inches, he was larger than the average male, or rather, human.

You knew the exact length because, well, you got _curious_ , and managed to convince Zim to allow you to measure his rod. You complimented his impressive member which led to a blowjob, and that's how you found out Zim had a praise kink.

The vibrations of your hum caused Zim to violently shudder, a bolt of electricity travelling up his spine. He grabbed at your hair, tugging a bit. You moaned, feeling a tingle down to your wet core. You let your left-hand travel downwards and slip under the band of your shorts and panties and slowly finger your clit. Rubbing around it before your hand went further, your thumb now playing with your clit while your middle and pointer fingers circled your entrance, dipping the tips inside teasingly.

Gripping Zim's hip with your right-hand, you sped up your head, sucking and making lewd slurping sounds as your tongue left a trail of drool. You looked back up and looked into Zim's eyes,which stared straight into your very being. Your eyes kept gazing into Zim's, tucking a lock behind your ears. You could see a small but noticeable trail of saliva coming from his mouth, half his wig was falling, showing one of his antennas was stiff at a downward angle.

You could feel Zim's hand pushing down on you head, you knew what that meant and you happily obliged, bobbing your head up and down rapidly, you could see the look on Zim face, he was close to finishing. You wanted him to finish in your mouth, the other time you two did this he pulled out and finished on your chest. You wanted to know the taste of extra-terrestrial cum.

 _I'm a true culinary epicurean_ , you thought to yourself with mirth as Zim groaned You let your fingers slip inside you, your thumb rapidly rubbing against your clit. You had soaked through you shorts completely, wetness streaking your inner thighs; unmistakable evidence of your arousal.

The only warning you had was Zim pushing your head down, face first into his crotch. A loud, keening whine escaped Zim as he filled your mouth with his seed. Much to your surprise, his cum tasted sweet, as in sweet like candy, like a lollypop.

 _Irken biology is weird, is it from the snacks?_

Zim gasped, still jerkily thrusting into your mouth as you pulled away from him, making sure that you didn't lose a single drop. You looked at Zim with a smile, humming with satisfaction as you swallowed, licking your top lip to catch a stream that had squirted out. Zim panted, blushing as he watched your lewd display.

With an air of playfulness, you giggled, pulling down your bottom garment, standing up with your legs apart, showing Zim at almost eye level what giving him that blowjob did to you. You lazily rubbed circles around your clit, a drop of your juices dripping down onto the metal floor.

"I hope you're not too tired" You gave him a small, playful smile "We can always take a break, you know."

Anger flashed through Zim's eyes, and you tried not to smirk as Zim fell for your bait. Insult an Irkens pride, and you can almost certainly trick them into doing what you want. Or maybe that's only a Zim thing.

"Zim isn't a _stinking_ human like you, I don't need a break. Get over here."

He leaned back into the chair and lazily gestured to his groin, his member fully erect and ready to go. You smirked at Zim's display of arrogant dominance, his head cocked at an angle as it rested against his knuckle, serving to accentuate his cocked eyebrow and his lopsided and almost dangerous smirk, as you could see his teeth. He fixed his wig, as if to say _I can do this while playing human, earth-filth_.

You bit your bottom lip, lifting your leg to kneel on to the seat and placing your hands on the top, using it as leverage to lift yourself up fully. Zim pressed a button on the side, the seat reclining, letting Zim lie down.

 _I bet this is where he hangs out when he's not fighting with Dib._ You thought to yourself, realising that this could the best nap spot. A cough from Zim snapped you out from your thoughts as he looked at you impatiently, his eyes narrowed at you.

"Any time now, earthling."

That was probably the nicest thing he's ever called you, in all honesty. You crawled over a bit, lifting Zim's tunic as you kneeled above his crotch. You pulled it off him, exposing his chest to you. There was a small detail that you missed when you first had sex with him-his chest was smooth with no hair (like the rest of his body) but also actually had no nipples. Zim expressed confusion as to why male humans had them _("Females I understand, but what's the point of them on a male?! You humans are grotesque!")_ and naturally, you expressed nothing but curiosity of his biology, however he… seemed almost fearful when you expressed that desire. You didn't push the subject, since the bell rang and you both had separate classes.

 _Why am I thinking of this?_

Evidently, your lack of action angered Zim.

"Oh, for Irk's sake-!"

That's all the warning you had as Zim suddenly shot up, giving you a glare as he grabbed you and pushed you off. He stood and picked you up, roughly laying you on top of the control panel. He pushed your legs apart, lifting your hips

"Damn it Zim, if you wanted control, you could have just asked!"

You said pointedly, annoyed at the suddenness of his actions. You spread your legs further, giving Zim ample room to enter. Zim placed his right hand just below your core, on your inner thigh. Using his thumb, he pulled your slit apart, revealing your clitoris and your entrance, wet and ready for him. The cold air caused a tingle to go up your spine, your toes curling.

"Z-Zim…"

You breathed his name out, watching as he gripped the base of his cock. He pulled in closer, rubbing the tip against your entrance before slamming into you, causing your back to hit the panel below you. You gasped at the suddenness, a fire igniting in your stomach.

"F-fuck yes, Zim~!"

You moaned out, enjoying Zim's roughness. Zim grinned to himself he pulled out only to thrust back in, not as sudden as when he first entered you but with enough force that you bounced. You moaned loudly at the force, the wet slapping of his flesh against yours fuelling your extreme need for release. You could feel your pussy pulsing, heat pooling in your lower stomach.

Zim seemed to answer your silent plea, and began to thrust into you harder, faster, gripping your hip with his left hand while gripping your breast with his right, he hammered into you, causing you to bounce with him. You closed your eyes as he continued thrusting into you, his claws digging into your flesh.

"Zim~!"

That's all you could say, your mind was in a hazy, heavy cloud and it slowed your thoughts down. You moaned loudly, you could hear buttons being pressed, but you couldn't investigate, you were too focused on Zim to care.

You could feel the coil in you lower regions wind tighter as you wrapped your legs around Zim, bringing him closer. He leaned down, his forearms caging as he breathed in your scent. Sweat had began to coat the both of your bodies in a light sheen.

 _Earth._

Sudden clarity shot through your mind as you opened your eyes and looked at Earth, which was upside down due to your position. You looked at Earth, barely noticing Zim pistoning into you, or to the screen above you that said in large red letters, CALLING. Instead, you gazed at Earth, and looked at its beauty as the reality of the situation dawned on you.

 _I'm having sex in space, I can see the fucking earth while I'm being fucked on my back in a fucking spaceship. What the_ _ **fuck**_ _is going on with my life anymore?_

You were suddenly pulled back from your thoughts as Zim leaned down over you, gripping onto the edge of the control panel as he pounded away from you, his mouth was a brushing against your neck.

" _Bite me."_

You whispered to Zim. His response was immediate, his mouth latching onto your flesh, his teeth biting down roughly. A jolt of electricity shot through your body, You could feel yourself about to come undone as Zim pounded into you.

A loud groan from Zim as he bit you again was all the warning you had as Zim's hips slammed to yours, a feeling of warmth spread through your lower abdomen, a loud static ringing in your ears.

"Zim!"

You cried his name out as you slammed your hand down, pushing another button as you wrapped your legs around Zim. The static grew louder and over took your sense, a pleasant sensation seeping your body, you felt like you were floating, the tingles of your orgasm rang through your body. Zim suddenly pulled out, semen following his exit.

You realised suddenly that the gravity drive must have turned off, as the semen floated above you into a ball as Zim pushed himself away from you, sputtering. You couldn't hear him, the white noise drowned your hearing out. You watched in awe as it floated above you, over earth. Through the white noise, you could have sworn there was screaming, but you could see from the ship's window that Zim was arched back with his eyes screwed shut as he grunted, loud enough you could faintly hear him.

 _He looks like he's fucking the Earth from here._

The screen shut off, whatever image it displayed now gone. Zim pulled out, panting as he spilled his seed outside, floating in the air at a slow, leisurely pace. You smiled at the strangeness of the image, and just how weird it was where you were now.

 _Never a dull moment, huh (Y/N)?_

You only smiled wider at that thought, body twitching as the last of your orgasm slowly ebbed away, spreading through your whole being. You sighed in contentment, only to look down and blush as you watched some of the cum ooze from you, floating through the air aimlessly. You couldn't help but giggle.

"D-Damn, if I knew space sex would be this good, I would have suggested this earlier."

Zim only smirked in response as he leaned down and turned the gravity drive on and pushed you down. This time, you landed on the control panel only with a small bump. As gravity was being restored, Zim walked backwards, sitting down on his chair. He leaned back, stretching. You slid off the control panel, pushing yourself to stand.

"So, how was I, _Almighty Zim_?"

Zim hummed, brow arched. "You were adequate, (Y/N)-worm. The Almighty Zim is most pleased with you." His mouth curved into a lazy, smug half-smile as he closed his eyes.

You could only roll your eyes as you stepped forward, sitting in your seat. Leaning back, you placed your hands on your stomach, clasped together as you gazed at your blue planet, Earth.

 _Earth,_ you thought to yourself, closing your eyes as images of your home, skool and various friends and family flashed through your mind. Your life was simple enough-even with Zim around you could comfortably say that life is fairly normal for you, even with hi skool.

You snapped your eyes open and bringing your knees up, wrapping your arms around your legs. You looked at Zim with your head resting on your knees.

"Hey Zim."

Zim barely turned his head, opting to look at you with the corners of his eyes. He cocked his brow at you.

"Yes, earthling?"

"What do you think of Earth?"

It was a strange question, you knew that. But Zim had strange views on just about everything. His face screwed into annoyance as he began to speak.

"I believe that you already know that, earth-filth. It's a disgusting, doomed planet filled with disgusting, doomed hyuu-mans. It's the bane of my existence, but I must live here in exile."

 _No, you don't. You could live anywhere else, so long as it's not inhabited._ You continued to look at him, your face neutral. You looked back at Earth, your eyes half-lidded.

"It's weird, huh?"

Zim made a confused noise as he looked at you fully, his eyes looking at you with confusion. You laughed, shaking your head.

"No, not this. Earth. Earth is weird. Maybe it's just where we live, but it seems like nearly everyone is… off, you know? But there seems to be a couple of humans who aren't, and they can see everything that's wrong. Gaz, Dib, you, me… Or maybe we're also _off_. Earth is weird."

You finished, unsure of the word vomit you just spilled forth. Zim only looked at you with confusion before turning back to the earth.

"Huh, yeah. Earth also weird. Weird, disgusting _and_ doomed."

You could only laugh, you weren't sure what you were expecting as an answer from you question, but this was typical Zim. You honestly didn't mind that misanthropic personality-it was interesting to see, you had never met one-but Zim being an misanthropic alien probably made about ten times more interesting.

You were brought out of your thoughts _(Why do I keep getting lost in my thoughts?)_ when you heard your phone begin to ring. You remembered why you were able to have sex and immediately leapt off the chair and grabbing your phone and answering quickly. You could feel a small amount of liquid slide down your inner thigh as you tried to sound casual.

"Hey, hi hello!"

"(Y/N)! Where are you?! Has Zim kidnapped you?! I swear if that alien-"

You pulled the phone away from your ear, the loudness of Dib's echoing through the phone. You began to shout back at Dib.

"Dib! Stop yelling before I hang up! Geez, we've talked about this, man!" You put the phone back near your ear as you began to speak again. "Listen, I'm fine. I ditched class early, wanted to go chill somewhere. And no, Zim isn't with me. I'll call you later."

You hung up the phone before Dib could reply, still annoyed that he yelled into his phone. You sat back down on your seat, your right foot resting on the edge of your seat while your left leg stretched out in front of you. Checking your phone, you cursed.

"Hey, we need to head back. Playtime's over, excursion is finished."

Zim groaned as he reached for his pants, putting them on as you quickly put your underwear and shorts on, turning around and grabbing your bra and shirt, you heard Zim speak to you.

"That was the Dib-stink, correct? He seems to be rather… _close_ to you."

 _Is that jealousy I hear?_ You turned to look at him, putting your bra on and clipping it. You deliberated on your answer, not sure what to say.

"I wouldn't say he's close to me, more like… I hang out with you far more willingly that Dib and Gaz combined. So, I'm, according to him, _"Always hanging out with the alien"._ It's not me he's checking up on, it's actually you."

You replied nonchalantly with a shrug as you turned your singlet inside out. Zim didn't reply, opting to stare at you. His face was furrowed with suspicion as he spoke his next words.

"Do you ever speak of our outings?"

You turned to look at him as you finished pulling you singlet down your head. The meaning behind his words dawned on you and you smiled at him, waving your hand to the side lazily.

"Nah, nothing. I'm not a spy, Zim."

"Then what _are_ you then?"

You pondered on his question for a few seconds, your hand raised with your finger on your chin. You turned to look at him, with a small grin on your face, your eyes wide and looking at Zim.

"How about… a friend?"

Zim took a step back and looked at you at bewilderment, before he began to yell.

"What? A friend!? Why do you want to end this arrangement we have?!"

Zim's words caused you to drop your smile and you dropped your hand to the side, a confused look on your face. You had no idea what Zim was talking about, and he didn't to be explaining any time soon. He only continued to sputter out _"Why?!"_ , getting louder every time he said it.

"Zim, seriously-"

"Why?!"

"Zim please explain-"

"Why?!"

"Ok seriously cut that shit-"

"WHY!?"

 **"ZIM!"**

You screamed out, trying to get Zim's attention. Thankfully, he stopped yelling but instead settled for a grumble. You sighed, pinching your nose with your right hand. Taking a deep breath, asked Zim a simple question. Or at least, one that Zim could answer simply.

"What do you mean by, 'End this arrangement' Could you please explain what you mean?"

 _Please answer this in a way I can follow._

"You wish to downgrade our status together, from friends with benefits to a mere level of friend!" Zim growled out, harshly pulling his tunic down his head. The gears in your head didn't have to turn, since you understood what Zim was saying. Chuckling a little, you waved your hand to the side. Zim looked at you, his eyes narrowing even more, you stopped and smiled.

"No, I don't. What I mean is, I see you as an actual friend, not just someone to have sex with. Like, I don't one hundred percent _trust_ you, but I can see myself hanging out with you a lot."

Hoping that Zim understood what you meant, you sat back down on your seat. Luckily, Zim seemed to as he stopped glaring at you and muttered a small _"Oh."_. He sat back down on his pilot seat and began to rec the ship, slowly flying us back to Earth.

"… You humans are strange creatures, making these… bonds with some else. In Irk, we Irkens do not make _'friendships'._ "

You somehow doubted that, and that it wasn't that Irkens didn't make friends, more like nobody wanted to associate with Zim. Or maybe it was both. You looked back at earth, the blue planet becoming larger the closer you get to it.

"Dib won't ever admit it, but you're pretty much his best friend. I think Gaz respects you, to a small degree. Plus, you do hang out with us more than anyone else."

You grinned playfully as Zim slid into his chair a little bit, muttering a quiet "shut up" as he ignored you. You rolled your eyes as you stretched out again, your phone buzzing. This time, it was a text. You look down at your phone and saw it was Dib.

 _Look, im sorry. R u ok?_

You couldn't help but smile. For all of Dib's flaws, you couldn't deny that cared about his friends. You quickly replied, tapping rapidly on your phone.

 _Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry about me, I did leave my bag behind though. Could you take it to your place? I'll come by and pick it up._

 _Yea, I can do that. Where is zim?_

 _No clue, probably out and about._

 _Damn_

You smiled, debating whether you should tell Dib to get a hobby. Before you could answer, Dib sent another text.

 _I'll see you later, it's family dinner night, only happens once a year. L8r._

You smiled as you put your phone in your pocket. You looked at Zim from the corner of your eyes.

"Hey, Dib won't be bothering you tonight, enjoy a nap or two."

"Fah! Irkens aren't as fragile as you humans, we only need sleep once a week, our food gives us more than enough energy to last us through our missions."

Zim replied haughtily, rubbing his Irken superiority into your face, you took no offense however and rolled your eyes, suppressing your laugh. The ship zoomed past the earth's atmosphere and drew closer to Zim's "normal, human looking house" as it opened its large purple roof, revealing the docking bay. It landed smoothly, with barely a bump and you descended into the house. The lab came into view and Zim stood up as the spaceship's hatch opened, allowing him to step out. You followed, eager to breathe some fresh air. Or as fresh as you could get from a polluted world.

You jumped out, bending your knees as your feet contacted the ground. You stepped forward, following Zim's stride and standing just behind him. Zim had a satisfied smirk on his face as he looked at you from the corners of his eyes.

"I bet you must feel very lucky to be able to have an arrangement like this with _The Great Zim_ , don't you, (Y/N)-worm?"

Deciding to play along, you looked at Zim under your half-lidded eyes and with a lazy smile.

" _Very_. I better get going, parents said they might be coming home tonight, wouldn't mind seeing them for a change. Later Zim."

You waved goodbye as you started to stride out of his lab, walking towards the elevator. Zim hummed in response. As you entered the elevator, you turned around called out for Zim. Zim turned around, his eyes furrowed and looking at you. You smirked.

"Just so you know… you taste pretty sweet, Zim."

You gave him a wink as you slowly licked your upper lip. Zim at first didn't understand what you meant, before his eyes widened and a delicious blush spread through his face, a bead of sweat dripping down the side of his face/ He could only sputter in response, only to resign to scream at you.

 _"I-! YOU!"_

That's all you heard before bursting into laughter, waving goodbye as you clutched your stomach. Zim soon disappeared behind the elevators wall and you sat down in the middle of the platform, still giggling. The look on his face was hilarious.

 _Ah… Good ol' Zim._

You left the elevator and stepped into the green lounge, stretching as you made your way to the door. You opened the door and smiled at the sun that was hanging low in the sky, happy to breathe some air.

 _Back to Earth, I guess._

You stepped out, feeling pretty good about yourself. You walked down the sidewalk and passed the actual, normal human-looking houses, each a dull colour. There weren't many people walking about, seeing as people were most likely home from a long day of work. You smiled to yourself as you look up and stared into the red sky.

 _And_ , you thought to yourself, _I think Zim enjoyed himself, as usual._

With that thought, you hurried down the street, eager to go home.

Meanwhile, in the Irken Massive, an uproar had begun in the Tallest room of command. The two Irkens reeled in their personal room, unsure of what to make of what they saw on the screen.

"What… What the…" Purple stuttered, hoping to un-see what he had been shown. He could feel himself about to gag.

Red however, was laughing, unable to control himself as he rolled on the ground, clutching at his side as popcorn stuck to his clothes.

"Hahaha! Oh man, did you- Did you see that? Zim was- what a _freak!_ "

Red burst into another bout of laughter, barely able to breathe. At last, Purple-who looked far greener than usual-stopped gagging. Red regained his breath, chuckles subsiding.

"Oh man. That was- that was sick, very, very sick."

Red had a look of seriousness, his face flat. The facade was broken by the tiniest twitch before flat disgust settled into his face. No other Irken in the room was speaking either, opting to show either disgust or surprise at what they had seen.

Zim, _copulating_ with a human.

Red finally turned to Purple directing a serious look towards him.

Purple was the one to speak first."You… _saw_ that, right? Zim, with that, that creature?"

Red merely nodded and looked out to the front, into the emptiness of space. He thought about the situation before he spoke.

"That shows us that he's lost all sense as an Irken. Probably sent that on purpose."

Red said, trying to make sense of the admittedly strange scenario. Purple tutted and crossed his arms, looking away to the side with furrowed eyes. He turned around fully from his hovercraft, with Red frowning.

Irkens no longer had sex, producing new smeets was handled by the cloning vats in the smeeteries. Hormones were controlled by the PAK, since copulation was no longer needed to reproduce and sexual arousal distracted from the mission. Only _aberrants_ and inferior species partook in such a primitive activity. Irkens were above that.

Well, _most_ Irkens were.

Red turned back to Purple who had merely huffed as he floated to the side of Red, eagerly awaiting to chew Zim out. Red nodded and turned to his technicians, issuing out a command.

"Call back Zim! We need to have a word with him."

God bless Raunchy, the greatest Beta ever. I hope everyone enjoyed this second chapter! Thank you Britt, for your extremely kind words! I hope to be updating this every 2 weeks on a Sunday. This is now officially Porn _with_ Plot! Thanks again!


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